For the past few months I’ve found myself in a deep internal dialogue exploring the nature of my desires, my relationship to will, and my capacity for action.
I appreciated the encouragement about and struggle about wanting to do all the things and worrying you have to give up one or some of them. I like the idea of one thing endorsing and supporting other things. It’s an additive process rather than subtractive.
Hi there, Anya ! Congrats for the house !!! (and for the YouTube channel btw:-)
I’m so happy for you and Chris, it’s tremendous news for this new year.
Thanks for the update, filled with honesty (as usual) and super-inspiring (also as usual).
It’s the start of a new chapter in Crestone (I hope that sooner or later I’ll do a lil’ pilgrimage over there) and I’m sure that you’re gonna set some substantial foundations in the next months.
I think that’s also a part of the beauty of the “Anyaverse” (I borrow this from Lily) : just going with the flow of your desires, your curiosity and also keeping in mind the “long run” idea of building a community (the spark that started so many fires).
As for “ why can’t you focus on just one thing (or a small quantity of things)?”, well, it’s just another absurdity of our degenerated culture (it’s not on the top of the degenerations’ list btw). I mean, everything is a tremendous mess at so many levels and we’re not even allowed to be curious about a lot of stuff or cultivate a diversity of gut-feeling desires.
Come on ! Seriously ?
Maybe it’s a part of the discriminative way of thinking/acting that we’re supposed to adopt to be a “good” citizen-consumer (and also a obedient wage earner off course). Fuck that !
Hi Abbas - thanks for all the kind and encouraging words! just gotta figure out how to actually edit long-form videos and run a Youtube channel, no big deal. I guess I will have to watch Youtube videos to learn how to make Youtube videos. Ha!
Thanks so much for sharing all your thoughts here Anya - I recognised myself in so much of what you were saying! It was like having a conversation with myself! For me, the last years have been so much about saying "no" to certain things (no to certain relationships, no to working full-time, no to having kids, no to getting married again...) and recently I've been overcome with this BIG question of "Well, what are you saying *yes* to then??" Listening to your ponderings really helped me to see that actually I've kinda already been saying yes to some pretty powerful things for a while but I just hadn't been able to put the puzzle pieces together and see the thread that joins them altogether.
And I totally share your sentiment on leaning into one thing and following the energy of it (ooouuch... it's sooooo hard to let go of control!!). Ultimately, for me I think the discussion around authenticity is about striking a balance between our own pleasure and social responsibility. It's like a pendulum - constantly moving between the two sides (if it's in the middle, the momentum is lost).
P.s. Please feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever about irregular podcasts - life is very irregular! And I think we all need to listen and honour that, just allowing our expression to happen when it feels organic.
So glad to hear it was relatable! It's so important to remember the cyclical aspect of all of these things too, right? The seasons of no and the seasons of yes, and how we can listen to ourselves well enough to know what season we're in.
Also thank you for the permission to be irregular! That's a lot more fun anyway. :)
I appreciated the encouragement about and struggle about wanting to do all the things and worrying you have to give up one or some of them. I like the idea of one thing endorsing and supporting other things. It’s an additive process rather than subtractive.
Exactly! Still adjusting / implementing, but it seems to be a really helpful way of considering things differently.
I meant informing not endorsing but endorsing could work too.
Hi there, Anya ! Congrats for the house !!! (and for the YouTube channel btw:-)
I’m so happy for you and Chris, it’s tremendous news for this new year.
Thanks for the update, filled with honesty (as usual) and super-inspiring (also as usual).
It’s the start of a new chapter in Crestone (I hope that sooner or later I’ll do a lil’ pilgrimage over there) and I’m sure that you’re gonna set some substantial foundations in the next months.
I think that’s also a part of the beauty of the “Anyaverse” (I borrow this from Lily) : just going with the flow of your desires, your curiosity and also keeping in mind the “long run” idea of building a community (the spark that started so many fires).
As for “ why can’t you focus on just one thing (or a small quantity of things)?”, well, it’s just another absurdity of our degenerated culture (it’s not on the top of the degenerations’ list btw). I mean, everything is a tremendous mess at so many levels and we’re not even allowed to be curious about a lot of stuff or cultivate a diversity of gut-feeling desires.
Come on ! Seriously ?
Maybe it’s a part of the discriminative way of thinking/acting that we’re supposed to adopt to be a “good” citizen-consumer (and also a obedient wage earner off course). Fuck that !
Enjoy your freedom, Anya. Every bite of it.
Good luck and Godspeed for this new chapter !
Hi Abbas - thanks for all the kind and encouraging words! just gotta figure out how to actually edit long-form videos and run a Youtube channel, no big deal. I guess I will have to watch Youtube videos to learn how to make Youtube videos. Ha!
Hope to see you in Crestone one day. <3
Thanks so much for sharing all your thoughts here Anya - I recognised myself in so much of what you were saying! It was like having a conversation with myself! For me, the last years have been so much about saying "no" to certain things (no to certain relationships, no to working full-time, no to having kids, no to getting married again...) and recently I've been overcome with this BIG question of "Well, what are you saying *yes* to then??" Listening to your ponderings really helped me to see that actually I've kinda already been saying yes to some pretty powerful things for a while but I just hadn't been able to put the puzzle pieces together and see the thread that joins them altogether.
And I totally share your sentiment on leaning into one thing and following the energy of it (ooouuch... it's sooooo hard to let go of control!!). Ultimately, for me I think the discussion around authenticity is about striking a balance between our own pleasure and social responsibility. It's like a pendulum - constantly moving between the two sides (if it's in the middle, the momentum is lost).
P.s. Please feel absolutely no guilt whatsoever about irregular podcasts - life is very irregular! And I think we all need to listen and honour that, just allowing our expression to happen when it feels organic.
So glad to hear it was relatable! It's so important to remember the cyclical aspect of all of these things too, right? The seasons of no and the seasons of yes, and how we can listen to ourselves well enough to know what season we're in.
Also thank you for the permission to be irregular! That's a lot more fun anyway. :)
Absolutely! And the seasons of activity and the seasons of rest, too!