Two years ago, when I moved to Crestone full-time, my social anxiety was at an all-time high. Recently, when I realized this was no longer the case, I began to reflect on what had changed.
Nice piece. I've always had a problem with social anxiety. My solution has been to keep moving, keep moving, keep moving. Another way of saying just show up.
I have successfully helped dozens of clients suffering from social anxiety. A simple summary: the unspoken belief under it is, "They are judging me." The cure is to realise they are too busy being the star of their own show to judge you.
I've heard this advice many, many times, but unfortunately even my intellectual grasping of this idea was not sufficient enough to solve anything. I actually needed to directly engage, not just assume.
I usually describe being social as a muscle and when you use it, you build the muscle/skill. When you avoid it, it gets harder and harder to use/engage. Yeah, some people build muscle easier or faster, but we all suffer when we atrophy.
Thank you for sharing this. I have a lot of social anxiety and work in the corporate world where I am always being judged by my unforgiving coworkers, from the way that I handled a situation to what I am wearing. I have taken the opposite approach from you, however, and just continue to put up walls and fester within my own brain, you know-the healthier approach haha! I do appreciate the work you have put in and the ability you have to get out of your own head. Maybe someday I will have the courage to do the same. Thank you as always, for your wonderful posts.
I'm not so sure I would recommend this work for use in the context you're describing. I think this really only works when you *want* to form relationships and be in community with people. If these are people you don't necessarily want to trust, or open up to, it doesn't really make sense, and in that case, your strategy might actually be preferable.
Love this post. So much to learn here.
Specifically regarding avoidance causing anxiety, the anxiety cycle comes to mind: https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/cycle-of-anxiety
Thanks for sharing this!
Nice piece. I've always had a problem with social anxiety. My solution has been to keep moving, keep moving, keep moving. Another way of saying just show up.
For sure.
I have successfully helped dozens of clients suffering from social anxiety. A simple summary: the unspoken belief under it is, "They are judging me." The cure is to realise they are too busy being the star of their own show to judge you.
I've heard this advice many, many times, but unfortunately even my intellectual grasping of this idea was not sufficient enough to solve anything. I actually needed to directly engage, not just assume.
Of course, doing therapy is not giving advice or stating a single sentence. Knowledge in the head doesn't move emotions.
So, you're quite right.
Probably the best approach is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). :)
Very thoughtful piece! Loving this
I usually describe being social as a muscle and when you use it, you build the muscle/skill. When you avoid it, it gets harder and harder to use/engage. Yeah, some people build muscle easier or faster, but we all suffer when we atrophy.
Thanks for sharing what showing up can do!
Agreed!
Thank you for sharing this. I have a lot of social anxiety and work in the corporate world where I am always being judged by my unforgiving coworkers, from the way that I handled a situation to what I am wearing. I have taken the opposite approach from you, however, and just continue to put up walls and fester within my own brain, you know-the healthier approach haha! I do appreciate the work you have put in and the ability you have to get out of your own head. Maybe someday I will have the courage to do the same. Thank you as always, for your wonderful posts.
I'm not so sure I would recommend this work for use in the context you're describing. I think this really only works when you *want* to form relationships and be in community with people. If these are people you don't necessarily want to trust, or open up to, it doesn't really make sense, and in that case, your strategy might actually be preferable.